My Movie Poster Collection: D

DAD, CAN I BORROW THE CAR? (Ward Kimball, 70). Folded, VG
I couldn't believe my freakin' luck in finding this one. I had waited years to even SEE this movie again (you can see it here). I'd caught this SHORT film (this is my only one-sheet for a short) on the Wonderful World of Disney back in the mid 1970s, and had always been fascinated by it; it's so incredibly odd. So's the fact that this poster even exists. I love everything about it, but I especially like its detailed psychedelic background. I'll never part with this.

DANIEL (Sidney Lumet, 83). Folded, VG
Gorgeous in every way, this one-sheet for Sidney Lumet's forgotten Daniel, about the kids of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg-like characters, totally haunts me. That photo of the shocked, hairy Timothy Hutton, against that colorful but terrifying background. Plus the total blackness of the poster! Wow. See this movie if you can, if only for the supporting performance of the always reliable but never better Amanda Plummer.

DARK DAYS (Marc Singer, 2000). Rolled, G
Scary...

THE DARK KNIGHT (Christopher Nolan, 2008) Rolled, M
Given to me by a friend. Double sided and in perfect condition. 

DEAD CALM (Philip Noyce, 89). Rolled, VG
The film deserves better than this, though it IS a weird image.

THE DEAD ZONE (David Cronenberg, 83). Folded, G. NOTE: SIGNED by Stephen King. 

THE DEADLY AFFAIR (Sidney Lumet, 66). Folded, VG
The Lumet title I most want to see, but can't. Where IS this movie? 'Cause the poster and the cast make me wanna see it!

DEATH SHIP (Alvin Rakoff, 80). Folded, G
Another hilarious bad movie, with some actually unsettling gore and an even more unsettling George Kennedy. Co-written by Jack Hill, but very obviously a Canadian production (since both Nick Mancuso AND Saul Rubinek are in it).

DEATH OF A PRESIDENT (Gabriel Range, 2006). Rolled, NM
As someone who has no love for W, I felt I should take this for my collection. There's not another movie out there like this one, that is for sure.

DEATHTRAP (Sidney Lumet, 82). Folded, VG
Yet ANOTHER Sidney Lumet poster, this time for a lark of his that I think was a successful entry into the thriller genre, and one of the best stage-to-screen film adaptations I've ever enjoyed. Extra points for including Rubik's Cube into the design!

THE DECAMERON (Pier Paulo Pasolini, 71). Folded, G
Pasolini. Had to have it, never seen the film.

DEEP END (Jerzy Skolimoski, 70). Folded, VG
I watched this film only recently, and boy, was it great. Not as great as the poster, though. That's Paul McCartney's pre-Linda girlfriend Jane Asher as the female lead.

DEMON SEED (Donald Cammell, 77). Folded, G
The best sexy computer movie ever made.

THE DEPARTED (Martin Scorsese, 2006). Rolled, NM
Even now, I fail to get excited about having this one-sheet, as valuable as it is. I just can't get with this movie, excepting Mark Wahlberg's extraordinary supporting performance.

THE DETECTIVE (Gordon Douglas, 68). Folded, VG
Imagine how different the world would have been had Sinatra accepted the role of Dirty Harry when it was offered to him...

DETROIT ROCK CITY (Adam Rifkin, 99). Rolled, VG
Never seen this, but I love these chaos posters. Kudos to the artist, Phil Roberts.

THE DEVIL WITHIN HER (Peter Sasdy, 75). Folded, VG
What's more frightening--and funny--that that baby/hand carrying the scissors? Maybe that rendition of who I suppose is meant to be Joan Collins...

DIE HARD (John McTiernan, 88) Rolled, NM
Very happily recently rediscovered this was in my collection, rolled up in a tube for nearly 30 years. 

DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE (John McTiernan, 95). Rolled, VG
I needed a Die Hard poster, and I still think out of the four available, this one's the best (maybe because New York is in the background). Luckily, I also like the movie, too.

DIGBY: THE BIGGEST DOG IN THE WORLD (Joseph McGrath, 73). Folded, G
Whaaa? This actually is a movie? Yes, it is. I saw it on CBS, as a kid, right after Kukla, Fran and Ollie.

DIRTY WEEKEND (Dino Risi, 73). Folded, VG
What a great poster. Perfect coloring, and the image (you can almost feel the ass-squeeze coming), along with the great tagline, says it all. I've never seen this movie, but lord knows I want to, though I have realistically very low hopes.

DISTRICT 9 (Neill Blomkamp, 2009). Rolled, M
Not a movie I love. 

DIVA (Jean-Jacques Beineix, 81). Folded, G
The 80s classic, obviously. And how wonderful is it that Dominique Pignon provides the central image?

DIXIE DYNAMITE (Lee Frost, 76). Folded, VG
Warren Oates. 'Nuff said.

DOCTOR GLAS (Mai Zetterling, 68). Folded, VG
Mai Zetterling was a Swedish actress-turned-director, vehemently left-wing and very sexual in nature, and this is the only poster I have of hers. It's creepy.

DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (David Lean, 65). Folded, 25th Anniversary re-release, G
The famous image that commanded attention in the newspapers for years after the film's release, painted by Howard Terpning. I don't care what anyone says, I still love this movie.

DOG DAY AFTERNOON (Sidney Lumet, 75). Folded, G
The final Sidney Lumet title from this go round. Beautiful layout--an understated combo of art, photography, and typography. One of the best in my collection.

DONNIE BRASCO (Mike Newell, 97). Rolled, G]
This one-sheet reminds me of a film that would have been better suited being released in the 70s. I adore its simplicity, and the story it tells.

DOWN AND OUT IN BEVERLY HILLS (Paul Mazursky, 86). Folded, G
Ugh. Hate the movie, and all those Miami Vice colors. Let's move on...

THE DREAMLIFE OF ANGELS (Erick Zonca, 98). Rolled, VG
A dull one-sheet for an electrifying film.

DRESSED TO KILL (Brian De Palma, 80). Folded, F
I think I have more De Palma posters than of any other director. This is one of eight that I own. The type takes over a but too much, but the 3D quality of the image still sticks in my mind.

DRIVE-IN (Rod Amateau, 76). Folded, VG
Another chaos poster, obviously influenced by Mad Magazine. The movie ain't half bad, neither.

DRIVE-IN MASSACRE (Stu Segall, 77). Folded, F
One of the very worst posters I own. My love of the drive-in is the only thing that keeps me from trashing it.

Film #41: Dad, Can I Borrow The Car?

When I was about nine years old, I tuned in to The Wonderful World of Disney one night to watch what I thought would be your typical Disney fare--cartoons, or a live-action adventure with li'l prairie dogs, or even a faboo tour of Disneyworld (an episode kids always wanted to see).

Instead, what I got was something that blew my mind, and I hope it blows yours. But first...

I was never a big fan of cars. Anyone who knows me also knows that automobiles and I have never found common ground. Other kids were drawing Torinos and Corvettes during geography lectures--me, I was drawing spaceships and movie logos. I have always found sedans to be burdensome, dangerous objects--certainly something I didn't want to control myself. A 3000-lb burnin' hunk of metal powered by fermented dinosaur juices? No way. Not for me, you can have my share. Believe me, the roads are safer without me on 'em. Besides, I think cars make people mean as hell and start them down the road thinking of other cars as mere obstacles to be vanquished rather than potentially deadly objects being controlled by other stressed-out people. It's all a big video game to most drivers. And certainly everyone's getting crabbier behind the wheel now that gas is four bucks a gallon some places. Geez, what're guys gonna be like when it hits $20 a gallon?! It'll be Mad Max all over again.

When I got to be a teen and then a young adult, living in Atlanta (the East Coast car capital of the USA) was very difficult for a guy who was not only unwilling to drive, but actually would get physically ill behind the wheel of a car. Lemme tell ya, it made dating nearly impossible, unless the girl was willing to do the carting-around, which is still seen (unfairly, I think) as a sign of male weakness (and what girl wants that?)

It became a big issue for me. Why's everybody so car-crazy? Why is life like this? And I started to think and think about it, and I came to the only conclusion, really: that it's all about sex. This love affair we have with cars is because they make sex and access to it much easier, even inevitable. Yes, ya got those people who'll tell you it's about freedom. And it is. Freedom to get sex. Freedom to make money to get sex. Freedom to pick up girls who want to have sex. That's what cars are all about. Chicks love cars. They love feeling safe and pampered, going fast and having the world at their feet. It turns 'em on. And most guys like turned-on girls (including me!)

"But it's not just that! I love to drive! It's fuuuuun!" Look, Clarence, driving ain't supposed to be fun. You want fun, go get on a rollercoaster, laughing boy. That's fun. Driving's supposed to get you somewhere you wanna go and when you get there, then you have your fun. It's this "fun" idea that causes horrible, bone-crushing, gore-gushing accidents. And stop talking on your cell phone, for Christ's sake, you ignoramus!!! Goddammit, fuckstick, turn your goddamn radio down so you can hear me honkin' my goddamn horn at ya! Hey, Mac! See this?! See this?! Yeah! You know what you can do with that finger! Yep! You got it! Right up there, too--sun ain't shinin' down there!!! WHAT?! WHAT?! I'LL KIIIILLLL YOU!!! Ahh, same to ya, jerk-off! Jesus, God, just get me home...what time is it?!


I mean, I...I...sigh...I could go on about my dislike of cars, touching on their negative environmental, political, and cultural aspects, blah blah blah. But I won't...Orson will do it for me. The movie quote below is my favorite exchange from Mr. Welles' 1942 masterpiece The Magnificent Ambersons. Joseph Cotton plays an early inventor of cars and devoted suitor to Isabel Minafer, George Minafer's mother (played by Dolores Costello). George (the young Tim Holt) hates Eugene not only because he's stealing his mother away from him, but because he sees Eugene as an agent of change from the old ways to the new. With Uncle Jack Minifer (Ray Collins) at the table, patriarch Maj. Anderson (Richard Bennett) starts things off:

Maj. Amberson: So your devilish machines are going to ruin all your old friends, eh Gene? Do you really think they're going to change the face of the land?

Eugene: They're already doing it major and it can't be stopped. Automobiles...

[cut off by George] George: Automobiles are a useless nuisance.

Jack: What did you say, George?

George: I said automobiles are a useless nuisance. Never amount to anything but a nuisance and they had no business to be invented.

Jack: Of course, you forget that Mr. Morgan makes them, also did his share in inventing them. If you weren't so thoughtless, he might think you were rather offensive.

Eugene: I'm not sure George is wrong about automobiles. With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization. May be that they won't add to the beauty of the world or the life of the men's souls, I'm not sure. But automobiles have come and almost all outwards things will be different because of what they bring. They're going to alter war and they're going to alter peace. And I think men's minds are going to be changed in subtle ways because of automobiles. And it may be that George is right. May be that in ten to twenty years from now that if we can see the inward change in men by that time, I shouldn't be able to defend the gasoline engine but agree with George - that automobiles had no business to be invented.

Brilliant talk there.

Anyway, this is all leading up to something much lighter. Back to Disney-time. So I'm sitting there, 1974 or so, Sunday night, and this INSANE thing pops up on screen as tonight's feature. I'll talk about it more later, after we watch it. So here it is, in three parts (it's 22 minutes long), via the wonderful You Tube (God, I love that site). From 1970 and narrated by a young Kurt Russell, get ready for: Dad, Can I Borrow The Car?



Gee, is there anything better than Dad, Can I Borrow the Car? Noooo. By far, the Disney company's coolest moment, it was directed by Ward Kimball, one of the original "Nine Old Men" who advised the Disney machine back in the day. He was an animator in the Diz biz since 1934, was the one who designed Jiminy Cricket from Pinnochio and redesigned Mickey Mouse from the '20s black-and-white little guy to basically the version of the character we know today. He'd won an Oscar the year before for another Disney short It's Tough to Be a Bird. So he was 56 years old when he produced Dad, Can I Borrow the Car? And you thought this was directed by some refugee from The Monkees or something. Nope. Kimball, pictured above, really let loose a bunch of old-guy hipness when he made this thing. That pic makes him look like a pretty funny character--I think that monster claw was even used in the movie!

The screams of laughter Dad provokes from my guttiwuts are endless--the wild-ass beginning with the "racing stripes" (if I were a rich man, I'd have exactly the car in this credits sequence, painted just like that buggy ends up); that bitchin' opening montage with that melange of oddball hotrods like a guy driving a burning cigar, a lemon on wheels, and a car hauling Mt. Rushmore away; that incredible, long B&W auto dealership commercial with all that gobbeldygook about "wrap-around hoods" and "pre-greased upholstry" (who IS that astounding actor with the fake bald wig anyway--that's the best commercial of all time!); those talking vehicles begging to be purchased (I love the old one that coughs and says "Get me soon, cause I'm goin' fast"...if only Cars could have been this cool); and, hey, was that a young, long-haired Jamie Lee Curtis as the girl who thinks he's trying to cheat off her test at the DMV? (The IMDB says Timothy Hutton's in this, too, but I couldn't spot him, could you? And, yeah, that was the Maytag repairman, Jessie White, a veteran of many a movie and TV show, doing some of the voices).

And, of course, there's all the references to sex and getting laid which, as I said, is what cars are all about. That scene with he and his friends taking the convertible under the car wash has to be one of the most suggestive things in a Disney film up to that period. I swear, some of the shots looked like soft porn! And with young Johnny watching over to the side, too! Gracious! Weird ending to this thing, too, with that kissing montage!

The killer graphic design was by John Emerson and Ed Garbert, with the stunning editing--the thing I think that first caught my young "WHAT IS THIS" eyes--is by Lloyd Richardson. And, naturally, there's Kurt Russell's funny, natural vocal performance, though I don't understand why they just didn't go on and use him as the lead actor; woulda made the movie that much better. I want to note that, though I saw this on TV, Dad, Can I Borrow the Car? did get a movie theater release, probably as a short in front of Superdad or The Cat From Outer Space or something. How do I know this? Because I have a movie poster for it!! Yayyyy! Coolest thing ever. I almost cried when I found it in this old warehouse I was helping clean up one time!! Score!!!