13 VERY POINTLESS (BUT FUN) MOVIE LISTS

For the past year of this blog's life, I've included these lists as part of my ongoing sidebar features (which I change fairly often, though not as often as I'd like). For those who haven't noticed (and I don't blame you), here's some fun fer ya. We start with the most current list (retired as sidebar fodder--there's a new list up now, "The 10 Best Drag Performances"--as of this publication):

20 LITTLE MOVIES INSIDE BIGGER MOVIES
**Perhaps the most famous and significant of all of cinema's "little movies": the spoof of The March of Time newsreels that opens Citizen Kane.
**A lush film documenting Earth's former beauty guides Edward G. Robinson to death in Soylent Green.
**A sickening series of informercials is consumed by Ellen Burstyn in Requiem for a Dream.
**Already-dead people film other people's deaths in Dead and Buried.
**George Kennedy stars in the bad sci-fi movie that Albert Brooks and Bruno Kirby are editing in Modern Romance.
**Politically radical bank robbers film their own crimes in Network.
**That “I’ll buy that for a dollar” TV show in Robocop.
**Beregere (Gabrielle Haker) watches 8mm movies of jazz legend Dale Turner (Dexter Gordon) in Round Midnight.
**The brainwashing film Joseph Frady (Warren Beatty) subjects himself to in The Parallax View.
**Jack (John Travolta) crafts an astonishing film documenting the death of a senator in Blow Out.
**There's that lame 30s-era B-movie Karen Black drags her wanna-be boyfriends to see (because she’s in it) in The Day of the Locust.
**At the Clinton Theater, a doc(mock)umentary unspools about the life of master porn filmmaker Auturo Domingo in The Autuer.
**George C. Scott discovers his daughter is starring in porn loops in Hardcore.
**The series of films reviewed by the "Sneakin' Into The Movies" guys in the extended Siskel and Ebert spoof within Hollywood Shuffle.
**A very authentic-looking silent western takeoff opens Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
**The video—with bikini girls shooting off massive machine guns—that Robert De Niro Bridget Fonda and Samuel L. Jackson enjoy at the outset of Jackie Brown.
**The sweat-sodden wrestling film dailies the title character endures in Barton Fink.
**The Duck and Cover mockery in The Iron Giant.
**“Mant” (as well as “The Shook-Up Shopping Cart”) in Matinee.
**“See You Next Wednesday,” the sloppy sex movie seen in An American Werewolf in London.
TEN GREAT MOVIES ABOUT BIRDS
Bill and Coo (Dean Riesner, 48)
Chicken Run (Nick Park, 2000)
Continental Divide (Lawrence Kasdan, 81)
Fly Away Home (Carroll Ballard, 96)
Kes (Ken Loach, 69)
March of the Penguins (Luc Jacquet, 2006)
Paulie (John Roberts, 1998)
The Birds (Alfred Hitchcock, 63)
The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill (Judy Irving, 2003)
Winged Migration (Jacques Perrin, Jacques Cluzaud & Michel Debats, 2001)
TEN GREAT PRISON MOVIES
Birdman of Alcatraz (John Frankenheimer, 62)
Caged Heat (Jonathan Demme, 74)
Cool Hand Luke (Stuart Rosenberg, 67)
Escape From Alcatraz (Don Siegel, 79)
I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang (Mervyn LeRoy, 32)
Papillon (Franklin J. Schaffner, 74)
Scum (Alan Clarke, 79)
The Big House (George W. Hill, 30)
The Criminal Code (Howard Hawks, 31)
The Shawshank Redemption (Frank Darabont, 94)

TEN GREAT SCREEN ANIMALS
DEER: The fawn (The Yearling)
HORSE: Black (The Black Stallion)
LIONESS: Elsa (Born Free)
LLAMA: Tina (Napoleon Dynamite)
ORANGATAN: Clyde (Every Which Way But Loose)
PARROT: Paulie (Paulie)
DOG: Old Yeller (Old Yeller)
CAT: Tonto (Harry and Tonto)
WOLF: Two Socks (Dances with Wolves)
ANN-MARGRET: Kelly Olsson (The Swinger)

TEN GREAT FICTIONAL MOVIE PRESIDENTS
Charles Durning as President David Stevens in Twilight's Last Gleaming
Donald Pleasence as The President in Escape from New York
Fredric March as President Jordan Lyman in Seven Days in May
Henry Fonda as The President in Fail-Safe
Jack Nicholson as President James Dale in Mars Attacks!
Jeff Bridges as President Jackson Evans in The Contender
Kevin Kline as Dave Kovic / President Bill Mitchell in Dave
Pepi Hermine as President Mimeo in Putney Swope
Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove
Polly Bergen as President Leslie McCloud in Kisses for My President

TEN GREAT SAN FRANCISCO MOVIES
Bullitt (Peter Yates, 68)
Dirty Harry (Don Siegel, 71)
Petulia (Richard Lester, 68)
San Francisco (W.S. Van Dyke, 36)
The Bridge (Eric Steel, 2006)
The Conversation (Francis Ford Coppola, 74)
The Times of Harvey Milk (Robert Epstein, 84)
Vertigo (Alfred Hitchcock, 58)
What's Up, Doc? (Peter Bogdanovich, 72)
Zodiac (David Fincher, 2007)

TEN GREAT MOVIES WITH EXPLODING HEADS
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Steven Speilberg, 2002)
Alien (Ridley Scott, 79)
Dawn of the Dead (George A. Romero, 79)
Outland (Peter Hyams, 81)
Scanners (David Cronenberg, 81)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (James Cameron, 91)
The Empire Strikes Back (Irvin Kershner, 80)
The Fly (David Cronenberg, 86)
The Thing (John Carpenter, 82)
JFK (Oliver Stone, 90)

TEN GREAT MOVIES WITH RADIO DJs AS MAIN CHARACTERS
American Graffiti (Wolfman Jack as himself)
American Hot Wax (Tim McIntyre as Alan Freed, and Jay Leno as Mookie)
Comfort and Joy (Bill Paterson as Alan "Dickie" Bird)
Do The Right Thing (Samuel L. Jackson as Mister Senor Love Daddy)
FM (Cleavon Little as Prince, Eileen Brennan as Mother, and Martin Mull as Eric Swan)
Play Misty For Me (Clint Eastwood as Dave Garver)
Pump Up The Volume (Christian Slater as Mark "Hard Harry" Hunter)
The Apostle (Rick Dial as Elmo)
The Warriors (Lynne Thigpen as D.J.)
Vanishing Point (Cleavon Little as Super Soul)

TEN MOVIES WITH GREAT SEX SCENES
Beatrice Dalle and Jean-Hugues Anglade in Betty Blue
William Hurt and Katherine Turner in Body Heat
Emily Watson and Stellan Skarsgard in Breaking the Waves
Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie in Don't Look Now
Anne Parillaud and Jason Scott Lee in Map of the Human Heart
Keanu Reeves, Chiara Caselli, and River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho
Peter North and Christi Canyon in Night Trips
Vincent Gallo and Chloe Sevigny in The Brown Bunny
Daniel Day Lewis, Juliette Binoche and Lena Olin in The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Jennifer Connelly and Billy Crudup in Waking the Dead

TEN GREAT MOVIES IN WHICH SOMEONE IS COVERED IN A MESSY GOO
**Ash (Bruce Campbell) gets a blood bath, and some rotting remains in the face, in The Evil Dead
**Augustus Gloop (Michael Bollner) dog paddles in a river of chocolate in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
**Carol Ann (Heather O'Roarke) is covered in ectoplasm in Poltergeist
**Carrie (Sissy Spacek) is drenched in pig's blood in Carrie
**Dr. Richard Thorndyke (Mel Brooks) is pelted with copious bird crap in High Anxiety
**Emil (Paul McCrane) is destroyed with a spray of nuclear waste in Robocop
**Ensign Pulver (Jack Lemmon) makes his way through a sea of soap suds in Mister Roberts
**Father Karras (Jason Miller) gets a face full of devil vomit in The Exorcist
**Jett Rink (James Dean) gets joyfully covered in oil in Giant
**The Ghostbusters (Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson) are slimed with marshmallow sauce in Ghostbusters

TEN DIRECTORS WHO'VE WRITTEN MUSIC OR LYRICS FOR THEIR MOVIES:
Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven, Changeling, Bridges of Madison County, Mystic River, Gran Torino)
David Byrne (True Stories)
David Lynch (Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me)
Jacques Demy (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg)
John Carpenter (Halloween, They Live, etc.)
John Sayles (Limbo, Honeydripper, Brother from Another Planet)
Ken Russell (Lisztomania)
Lars Von Trier (Dancer in the Dark)
Mike Figgis (Leaving Las Vegas)
Prince (Under the Cherry Moon, Graffiti Bridge)

TEN GREAT ATLANTA MOVIES
ATL (Chris Robinson, 2006)
Claire (Milford Thomas, 2001)
Driving Miss Daisy (Bruce Beresford, 89)
Drumline (Charles Stone III, 2002)
Sharkey’s Machine (Burt Reynolds, 81)
Marvin and Tige (Eric Weston, 83)
Sherman’s March (Ross McElwee, 86)
The Signal (David Bruckner, Dan Bush & Jacob Gentry, 2007)
Smokey and the Bandit (Hal Needham, 77)
Trespass (Walter Hill, 92)

TWENTY EXTRAORDINARY ACTS OF CINEMATIC SACRIFICE (SPOILERS ALERT!!)
**Bess (Emily Watson) goes to extraordinary lengths to save the life of her injured husband in Breaking The Waves.
**Robert Kinkaid (Clint Eastwood) and Franchesca (Meryl Streep) abandon their love, for the sake of her treasured family, in The Bridges of Madison County.
**Rick (Humphrey Bogart) sends his lover Elsa (Ingrid Bergman) away, all for the good of the allied war effort in Casablanca.
**Jack Godell (Jack Lemmon) gives his life to warn the people of Los Angeles, via live television, about a dangerous nuclear reactor in The China Syndrome.
**Johnny (Christopher Walken) exposes a presidential candidate he knows will lead the world into holocaust in The Dead Zone.
**Father Karras (Jason Miller) beats the devil out of a little girl (Linda Blair) and suffers the consequences in The Exorcist (William Friedkin, 73)
**A stage dresser (Tom Courteney) relinquishes his happiness all for the unrequited love of his boss, an elderly English actor (Albert Finney) in The Dresser.
**Two American parents (Anne Baxter and Thomas Mitchell) lose all five of their sons to WWII in The Fighting Sullivans.
**A dying Japanese bureaucrat (Takeshi Shimura) spends his final months, and his life savings, to build a children's park in Ikiru.
**At the end of his darkest hour, the whole town comes to George Bailey's aid at the end of It's A Wonderful Life.
**The aging comedian Calvero (Charlie Chaplin) saves the life of a suicidal ballerina (Claire Bloom) and denies his love for her so that she may marry a younger, more suitable man in Limelight.
**Tom (John Wayne), gives up his pride, his girl, and his hope of a happy life in order to pump up the reputation of the small-town lawyer (James Stewart) whom he knows will bring civilization to the West in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
**Jesus Christ (Willem Dafoe) resists the devil's promise of a normal man's life, and dies on the cross for the sins of humanity in The Last Temptation of Christ.
**Thomas More loses his life in steadfastly clinging to his strong sense of morality in A Man For All Seasons.
**A once-dirty cop (Treat Williams) gives up his lifelong profession and his much-loved partners in order to expose police force dirty-dealings in Prince of the City.
**Spock (Leonard Nimoy) dies from radiation exposure in order to rescue the Enterprise in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
**The entire crew of a spaceship headed to a burning-out sun give their lives to restart it again, and in the process save humanity, in Sunshine.
**A battalion of Navy men embark on a mission they know will result in their deaths in They Were Expendable.
**Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman) performs one last act of selflessness in insuring the safety of the survivors of The Poseidon Adventure.
**On 9/11/2001, the passengers on Flight 93 perform an extraordinary act of heroism in order to stem further bloodshed in United 93.

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